The month started off with two wonderful rides that mean so very much to me. This time last year, I was quite pregnant at full term/40 weeks and unable to enjoy my traditional birthday trail ride. A full year later, it absolutely made my birthday to be hopping on my favorite mareface doing what we love together again.
A few days later I went back out to the barn, this time with little guy in tow to celebrate his birthday with his own birthday ride!
My husband had to work so this was the first ever 100% solo outing with just me and baby. I worried if I was trying to attempt too much by myself, but everything went well. After grooming and tacking up Quest with the bareback pad and S-hack, I strapped C into the baby carrier and we headed to the outdoor arena. I swung up with the mounting block and off we went.
Quest was a saint. Little guy was babbling and laughing. I was grinning from ear to ear.
|"Little human, can I have cookies please?"|
|Quest is so incredibly gentle with him. |
He was petting all over her nose and face.
It's hard to put into words how happy I was to share a birthday ride with my little boy, and maybe start a new tradition with him - the fact that he enjoyed it was the icing on top.
It is certainly curious how different my emotional state was a year ago and sometimes...still is. While I've physically healed, I'm still not 100% emotionally fine and...honestly, that is okay. It's been good to find support from other parents who have gone through a similar journey and to realize that is is perfectly okay for my mental health to take its own path and time to recover.
Having Quest so rock steady and ready when I need her the most has been an incredible gift to my emotional wellbeing though. Through long hours alone on the trail, I've given myself that quiet space to sort through a maze of thoughts- realizing the need to prioritize what actually matters to me and to stop caring about what doesn't and to intentionally surround myself with good, supportive people.
And even though the year of distance riding didn't quite happen the way I had wanted it to....Rides will always be there and my family, our small little growing family, will only be as it is for a short time. Maybe it'll be next year, or the year after that. I'll take what ever catch rides I can fit into my schedule.
In the meantime though, I'll continue to enjoy my little slice of personal heaven - riding with my little guy and my best mareface.