It's that time of year that social media reminds me that another season of distance riding is now underway. I took some time off from the community to have my kids and raise a family. Now that my daughter has just turned a year old, I am SO ready to jump back into the game with both feet first.
Quest is sound, but she has told me that she prefers the semi-retired life which I'm perfectly happy to oblige. She's worth her weight in gold to educate my kids on horsemanship and how to ride. She's always still game for long rides whenever I want and need an escape on the trails.
Inevitably when things like this happen, I find myself circling down in a spiral of familiar, unwanted thoughts and it never takes me anywhere good. And I have a confession to make...Even after doing this horse thing for almost 10 years, I still feel like the odd one out. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm a nuisance that no one wants to deal with. My husband has said the community doesn't seem really friendly and it's not worth trying to go back.
But I don't want to believe it, my flaw has always been my extreme loyalty and belief that there are always good people out there. If you know me, I never am one to take no for an answer. But try as I might and nothing works out, I will learn to be okay with that. I will always have days like this to look forward to:
My one issue with the endurance community is that there is not a whole lot of diversity in it, even in this region that tends to be an amazing melting pot of cultures and races. Had it not been for Dom and Liz, I'm not sure I would have stuck with it back when I started in the sport. Carlos and I ALWAYS get weird looks in camp when people hear us speaking in Spanish to one another, especially from the older folks. It's really off-putting but I try to ignore it. Of course I'm nice to everyone we meet, but I don't go out of my way to talk to others; I mostly keep to myself and my horses when I'm at rides. That said, I have seen posts by people in the AERC group looking for catch rides that have received fantastic responses, even when they haven't been the typical ethnicity we commonly see in the sport. I did a quick search in the AERC FB group and didn't see any recent posts by you. It might be worth a shot to post about catch riding. <3 Dom might also know people who are looking for riders for their horses.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a part of the NE AERC fb group and I have made posts before but the responses were very discouraging and off-putting. I once asked for help with getting to intro rides (offering to paying gas costs and clean up after my horse, etc) and one lady replied "Just get your own rig." after my post explained that I was very new to horses, doing this completely on my own, and purchasing a truck/trailer was not in the cards just yet. The ironic thing was she only lived 15mins away from me and Quest. Months before making my fb post, I had asked her though PM about possibly trailer sharing, even just to get Quest out to new trails for conditioning - She told me "No hitchhikers allowed". Maybe I should have taken a screencap before I deleted the post (hindsight is 20/20...) but as someone who was born and raised in the US but was horribly bullied for my ethnicity, comments like that make me sensitive and embarrassed. That was nearly 10 years ago when I first started riding, I'm hoping I have grown a tougher skin after a decade...but it's been hard.
DeleteThis country's inherent racism and prejudice are so ironic considering that the ancestors of just about everyone that lives here came from another country. The US is infamous for this in the international community, but they refuse to look in the mirror. It's ridiculous.
DeleteI am so sorry you were bullied in school over something that you should have been allowed to be proud of. Of course comments like that b*tch's would make you turn away from the sport. That makes me so angry! You should NOT have to grow a tougher skin in order to cope with the ignorance of others. It's *their* problem, not yours. I'm so sorry. :(
Sorry things aren't working out, I hope that the perfect situation comes around for you.
ReplyDeleteMe too, until the universe tells me enough is enough.
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