Friday, April 1, 2016

Setback

IMG 0818I wish this was a April Fool's joke. I really do. I've been sick to my stomach with worry for the past two days.

Quest was still not 100% after a couple days post-ride so I had the vet out to take a look and the news wasn’t good. Sore mid-body suspensory on her right front. Vet doesn't suspect a tear but he's put her on bute, anti-inflammatory meds, and a long acting tranq to keep her quiet when stalled. He'll be back out in a week to check. If there is no marked improvement, next is ultrasound to see what needs to be done.

I was at work when I found out. I barely managed to keep myself together....I felt like crying. I was hard on myself over the lameness at the ride and now this. I feel like I failed her.

We will know a lot more in a week's time but it's been so hard not to overthink this. My mind just dwells on the possibility our endurance career ended before it barely even started. I started deleting things off my ride calendar last night and each time I took an event off, I felt the guilty heartbreak all over again.

This was not exactly the way I would have liked to start our first season but things happen. Only thing we can do now is make the best of the situation. With time and rest, the prognosis is positive and full recovery is possible. Mareface will have at least a full month off to recover and depending on how she is then, I’ll slowly leg her back up. I have no idea how long it will take.

I’ve been trying to process my thoughts in an orderly fashion but it has been hard. I’ve been a mental mess since Quest came up lame. Hardest part about this entire thing was that she felt and was SO good the whole time. If not for the sand, we would have easily been one of the top 10 scores. The only points we got deducted were from the lameness. I’m FAR from abandoning my goal to do endurance riding but honestly, it hasn’t been easy not to blame myself and my confidence in managing my horse appropriately has been shaken. J and B are great mentors and I appreciate all their help and diligence but no matter how you view it, at the end of the day, I’m the one responsible for making decisions for my horse and sometimes what works for others might not work for you.

I've been offered horses to catch ride so I'll still be riding this season though it probably be awhile before I am astride behind my favorite pair of black-tipped bay ears. I'm so heartbroken right now.